Some conversations are best had face to face. Others, side by side.
Face to face, knee to knee is more intimate, more intense, more focused and direct. Side by side means that you’re doing something else, and conversation can flow naturally over the course of the thing you’re doing.
I had to have a difficult employment conversation with a guy on a team that I led. He caught me off guard and needed to talk. I felt the tension in his face and language so I suggested we take a walk. That way we were walking, looking around, and didn’t have to look at each other as we also searched for words. It was the right decision and made a challenging conversation a little bit easier.
This week another friend of mine asked to ride mountain bikes with me. This is another opportunity to be together, doing something, and inevitably, conversation will ebb and flow… perhaps even more authentically than across the table at coffee.
Of course there are lots of reasons to have stand-up and sit-down and brain-storming meetings when you’re in a room, face to face, and focused on a known goal. The key is that both or all parties are clear about the known goal. If not, or if you need to let a little pressure out of the conversation, take a walk—or a ride—and let relationship happen first. The agenda will flow from there.