We’ve all been there… we have experienced some level of trauma or mistreatment. Our flesh and desire is to seek revenge. We want to take matters into our own hands and inflict pain on those who hurt us. We blame them for our current circumstances and situations.
When we carry unforgiveness–harboring feelings of blame or anger towards someone–and it goes untreated or unresolved, it actually magnifies the emotion. So a new offense triggers the same root emotion of an old offense and all of a sudden we have made a mountain out of a molehill.
Recently, while Caleb and I were on a spiritual retreat, I had time to reflect on my recent circumstances, and there is no doubt in my mind that I was mistreated on so many levels. My flesh wants to cry out and tell everyone all the gory details of how awful people were to me… but that is NOT what God calls us to do. And to be honest, that would leave me where I have been stuck in the past–in the cycle of blaming others and not healing or growing.
Furthermore, while I do not believe God brought any of this pain on me, He has allowed it. Therefore, I can and must learn from my pain if I want to escape the cycle. I can learn to combat the victim spiral. I can stop pointing my finger at others and blaming them for my current circumstance.
So I decided in my brain that the best way to combat blame was to do the opposite. Which I thought would be to take ownership. However, when I turned to wikipedia and asked for the antonym of blame I found these words: exonerate, praise, endorse, approve, compliment.
In the context of pain someone has caused you, if you find yourself blaming them, try blessing them. It’s not saying what they did was right. I believe it is allowing your heart to see them as a human sharing the same human experience and appreciating them for how God has made them uniquely.
I tried it out recently, and I can tell you it feels GOOD! Something happened in my soul that only God could do. A freedom that I was so desperate for.
Also, no one looks good with poop in their mouth. So clean it up. 🙂