“Ooops, I said too much.” Ever been there?
Me too. Why? And what is “too much”?
It depends. On these two questions:
- Are they safe and secure?
- Are you slippery?
Someone needs to know everything. I hope you don’t go to your grave with a secret. That’s exhausting. It has an impact on you, internally, whether you realize it or not. Plus, the only way to really know the unconditional love of your God is to experience it through another human.
But only if that person is safe and secure.
Safe: You believe they will hold the information in confidence.
Secure: They can hold the information and be healthy. In other words, it doesn’t throw them, shake them, or weigh them down.
People who are safe and secure have these characteristics:
- They are in your inner circle—proving their loyalty to you, by friendship or commitment to the group
- They are mature—they’ve done some living
- They understand grace, themselves—they’re not comparing “sins” on a false-religion sin scale
- They prioritize you over the organization
- They don’t run their mouth
You need at least one of these people. A few is better.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” -James 5:16
Then, it’s important to know what kind of a person YOU are. Which better describes your tendency?
When it comes to pain, struggles, or secrets, I’m more likely to:
A. Withhold, understate, minimize, downplay, or keep it in
B. Share too much, share too soon, share with the wrong people
Know yourself. And help yourself by finding someone who is both safe and secure. Share with them. But not with everyone.
We need the grace and love of other trustworthy people to teach us the true nature of God’s universe.