What we dislike in others is usually what we hate about ourselves.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” —Jesus (Matthew 7:3)
My friend mentioned that they can’t stand someone’s cackling laugh. But it’s because they have a weird laugh, themselves, that they’ve tried to morph it over time.
Then there’s that woman who makes fun of another woman’s clothes, but it’s because she grew up poor and out-of-style, swearing, “I’ll never dress tacky again.”
For me, I tend to be the harshest critic of judgmental people. And that—obviously—is because I was one, and still have it in me. Back when I fit the mold and performed better than most everyone else, my identity was wrapped up in being a “good Christian” (I have no idea what that actually means, by the way). But after divorce, I wasn’t perceived as being as successful at being good. My ego and identity took a hit. I’ve been on a journey ever since, fighting the urge to project a good image of Caleb and instead just authentically BE Caleb.
And when I mess up and I’m critical instead of compassionate, it’s usually because I see familiar specks in performing eyes. Admitting it is the first step 🙂