Recently, our boys were asking for something and Hilary and I disagreed on the approach we should take. With a little bit of an early-morning-and-still-tired edge, my comments to Hilary were sharp and came across condescending… as if my ways were the right ways and hers are wrong.
- I never want to be rude to Hilary.
- I really never want to be rude to Hilary in front of our kids.
- I’m not always right.
The problem is, deep down, I kinda do think I’m right and that my ways are better. Despite the fact that I’ve been wrong so many times… and been humbled a lot… I’m still arrogant in my view of the world.
What I want–and what I’m slowly moving toward—is a view of Hilary and others that communicates care for the person first, concern for the policy later.
Hilary has her own genius and sometimes I miss it because I’m over-confident. When I miss it, I miss her. And, turns out, I might have great ideas that die in my prideful mind because I can’t communicate them in a way that anyone cares about… because they don’t feel cared for.
And that might be happening to you, too.