It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. -Apostle Paul (Romans 9:16)

It’s been my experience that what Paul is saying here is an experience that only comes with age… and pain. 

Like children, we need parameters and structures while we’re growing. “Don’t touch that. Don’t say that. Obey your mom…because I said so!” But as we age we find our way in the world. We take what we learned at home and apply it to our unique setting in changing times and cultures. 

So it is in life with the Spirit. Law and structure served a purpose. Drive and ambition have a role to play. But, eventually, we discover that even our greatest achievements are the mercy of God. 

“We only realize this is true in the second half of life. We had to do the wanting and the trying and the achieving and the self-promoting and the accomplishing. The first half of life is all about some kind of performance principle. And it seems that it must be this way. We have to do it wrong before we know what right might be.” —Richard Rohr

I wonder if this is essence of surrender. Striving and hustle have their place, but eventually prove to be unsatisfying. At some point, we are invited to fall into grace and surrender that our best efforts are at the mercy of the Controller of all creation.