Last Sunday I was having a particularly difficult day. I wanted to be at church with my community. I wanted to scream of the pain I was feeling. I wanted to put people and situations on blast on social media–which I knew was a bad idea… So I frantically called my husband five times… but he was working out and didn’t answer. SO I took to social media–Just kidding. I called my father in law. He shares the same steady, peaceful, wise nature as Caleb (duh, that is where Caleb gets it).
I used to call Larry often after I lost my Mama. He has always made time for me… and always managed my extremely difficult questions about death and life with such steady unshakable faith. This call was no different. I shared with him about my broken heart. He listened, helped me see that I was absolutely justified to feel the way I was feeling, but then told me to step away from the computer. Ok, thanks dad. I needed the wisdom and coaching.
Then Larry told me a story that shifted my thinking and I hope it can shift yours too. He told me that when he left an organization, awhile back, it was a mess, with many of the same hurt feelings. His transition was handled poorly because people are people and make mistakes. They aren’t Jesus–they aren’t perfect. We only talked for a few moments because Henry interrupted us, begging me for a donut. I thanked Larry for his time, got Henry and I our donuts and I cried.
The organization that hurt and mishandled Larry is the same ministry that God used to draw me to himself when I was 16 years old. I don’t even know how I ended up at the Cooper’s house at 7:27pm on a Wednesday night, but I remember distinctly that a guy named Ross told the story of Zacchaeus. I remember because that was the moment that I was first introduced to Jesus. I will ALWAYS love that organization, despite its flaws and human leadership. It is the ministry that God used to change the trajectory of my life.
It turns out that at about the same time a team of people were loving me and teaching me of the love of Jesus, further up in the ministry chain of command, Larry had a not-so-fun departure. Of course, being Larry, he has forgiven and still supports that organization.
So that takes me to last year’s departure from our church. Friends. People are people. The church is absolutely flawed, but aren’t we all? There is still beauty in the middle of all the brokenness. I wish I could have had this perspective sooner, but I am so glad I see it now, and I hope it can shed some light for some of you.