There is absolutely no way to escape it… We are created for love, and yet everyone we love dies. Therefore, we all go through grief.

I think we look at grief as a “season” or a time of mourning. But, what if we viewed the grieving process as a continuum–a never-ending, always evolving emotion.

And this emotion is not limited to the death of a loved one. It can be a loss of a dream, loss of a job, a move…what I’m saying is that it’s an emotion we need to get more comfortable with.

Two months after I turned 27, I lost my sweet mama… and while I experienced DEEP grief directly following her death, the grief didn’t exactly disappear; it continues and adapts with my life. I see grandmas caring and adoring their grandkids and a tinge of grief hits me… and I think that is ok. I would be lying if I said it didn’t exist. The important thing is not to stay there. I move forward, I acknowledge the pain… I pause and picture my mom as the grandma to my kids and I cry and mourn… and I create space. I create space to love the motherless, the ones younger than I who have lost their parents. I also create space to allow other grandmas to hop in and love my kids (accepting surrogate grandma applications).

Sometimes I see something that reminds me of my mom… and a wave of grief hits me and I feel swallowed and let the waves of emotions crash over me. And in the waves God whispers to me, “I know your deepest needs. I know your deepest pain and I will show you I’m with you in the middle of that.”

I’m reminded that this human experience is only for a short moment. So often we want to move beyond our grief because we “should be over that by now,” but I would challenge that statement. What if God is calling you to grieve deeper… heal more… hear HIM more.

We are uncomfortable with our own grief so it is natural that we would be uncomfortable with the grief of others. We judge the process they are in; we make assessments on what “stage” of grief they are in. We try and rush them out of the grief they are experiencing and move them to healing because we want to fix, but the Healer of grief has His timing and it’s perfect and mysterious.

The most intimate times with God I have experienced are my most desperate. Maybe your painful memory is God wanting you to find deeper healing. The deeper our healing, the richer our life experiences can become. Be ‘ok’ with where you are in your grief process… it is between you and God. Allow the feeling; let God take care of the healing.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.” -Romans 12:15

If you have a friend or loved one (or annoying co-worker) in the midst of grief, embrace them… you might encounter Jesus.

-Hilary