“Caleb and Hilary have had to step down from leading the church because of allegations made by Caleb’s ex-wife.”
Can we sit with that for a minute? Can you put yourself in my (Hilary’s) shoes? The job is over. Gone. Done. Friendships are severed; there’s pain and confusion; and what sparked this whole transition was initiated by words spoken by my husband’s ex-wife.
And guess who I’m not mad at–not even a little bit. Caleb’s ex-wife.
Why? Because when I met Caleb, I felt like God told me to begin to pray for her. Caleb and I even chose to break up for a season, and in that time I prayed that if they were supposed to remarry that God would do a miracle and make that happen.
Fast forward… Caleb and I got married 18 months later and I had a deep conviction to continue to pray for Caleb’s ex-wife–that God would bless her life and work. I became her secret defender. I always tried to consider her when Caleb spoke of his divorce. I wanted her to feel honored and protected. I might not have done it perfectly, but that was my genuine desire.
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” -Jesus (Matthew 43:5)
God says this, not for our enemies’ sake, but for OUR sake! For YOUR sake. For your soul.
I think God wants to cultivate compassion in us–even for those who hurt us. Maybe He’s even doing it now, ahead of time, because He knows someone will hurt us down the road, and when that time comes our hearts will be ready. Maybe He’ll even give us eyes to see the world from that person’s perspective.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
I’m letting God transform my mind, and it works. In my weak moments, I can slip into bitterness and fear, but I’m learning to obey my Heavenly Father, praying for someone who others might consider my “enemy.”
Imagine… as we pray… as we release offense… as we speak life, our so-called enemies become our hurting brothers and sisters. Which seems pretty important if you don’t want an eternity of awkward interactions!
Imagine… getting to Heaven and being able to greet any and ALL people with hugs and thanksgiving. By the way, if He’s letting ME in, I’m guessing I’ll be surprised by His grace every time I turn around.
And since God’s “house has many rooms,” we shouldn’t be surprised if He puts our “enemies” in the rooms next door to ours. So let’s speak life, praying words of grace and mercy over everyone–even the ones who hurt us.
It’s good for our souls and preparation for eternity.